Beyond the Stoic
by Seikyn
Summary: Rude's reflections upon what it means to be a Turk after Shinra's downfall.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters,locations, or items of Final Fantasy VII, they belong to Square-Enix.  
  
Beyond the Stoic  
  
When they look at me I know what it is they see. I am but a silent stoic to their selfish minds. Just a loyal Turk with nothing to say, nothing to hide, nothing to him but duty. Yet they refuse to see, or maybe can't see, what lies beyond.  
  
Maybe I am better at acting then I ever hoped, or maybe everyone around me is blind. I would go with the latter. The exectuives of Shinra and the mindless drones who serve them are indeed blind; blinded by their own greed. Even Reno and Elena, maybe even the late Tseng, are blind and side-tracked. They have no idea what it means to be a Turk. They didn't even care for the traditon we were sworn to uphold.  
  
Reno was always bloodthirsty and contrary. I imagine when he joined, he held the same dream and absolute loyalty to the meaning of Turk-hood. Sadly he was eventually currupted. I remember when I first met him. He was the one who told me what the Turks are, what we were about, and to wht our loyalties were bound to. I remember the absolute pride I had in myself and my fellow Turks when I first donned the coveted blue suit.  
  
Just what does it mean to be a Turk? That was the question I was asked on my first day on the job. Reno told me that the Turks were the invisible, the untouchable, the shadows who silenced those in opposition to our cause. The Turks are the unstoppable mercinaries who bound themselves to a cause and stuck with it until it's demise. Companies and governments would rise and fall, but the Turks were survivors. The Turks would outlast.  
  
A Turk only gurantees loyalty to his fellows. We look after our own. We stick our necks out for others only when our leader asks us to. Perhaps that is why Reno became the leader whenever Tseng wasn't around and after he died. Reno was Shinra's lapdog. If it weren't for Tseng's greed, we would have cut ties with the company after Old Man Shinra's death. Thanks to Tseng we went on that suicidal wild goose hunt after the proverbial needle in a haystack, Sephiroth.  
  
My loyalty resides only in my fellow Turks, even if they are misguided fools.  
  
Not one of them had the ability to see beyond what is sitting right in frint of their faces. Our missions took their toll on the others, but they never understood how I could always stay so calm. I was calm even if he odds were stacked hopelessly against us, even if we were staring into Death's eyes. Yes, our missions took a horroble psycholgical toll on all of us. I remember even Reno would curl into a fetal position and rock back and forth while muttering inconprhensible to himself after one or two of our 'errands.' Yet they always asked me why they never saw me react in noticable ways to some of the things we do in our sick profession.  
  
I never answered them. They didn't deserve to know if they were unwilling to look for the inconspicuous things.  
  
There is a reason I were these shades in all environments. They are the cloak I wear to prevent everything I have from just welling up. Every strong emotion I have ever felt I buried deep inside. Even though I just want to break open and let all of these things flood forth every waking second I am awake, I just push it down even harder.  
  
When I became a Turk I swore that these shades would never come off. That for me to be strong I would have to keep it all inside for the sake of my comrades. With my shades acting as the wall, damming up all the tears I so desperately want to shed, I would never fail those I have come to regard as my sarrogate family.  
  
But I have failed them. I failed Tseng, I failed Reno, and I failed myself. Shinra was not supposed to fall while the Turks remained alive to defend it. But it did fall. We lived through it. Though by the code we uphold we should have all been dead before we allowed a catastrophe like that to have come to be.  
  
So today I will cast aside the way of life I have lived for the past decade, and my former freiends and co-workers will be left behind. The dam I have put up is under too much strain now. The walls I erected are beginning to crumble. So now is the time to face up to myself.  
  
It is finally time to remove the shades.  
  
---My tribute to Rude, the Turk I identify with most. I mean, we're both guys of few words (when it comes to talking) and the people around us seem to know almost nothing about who we really are. He was my favorite Turk in the game, so I decided to write a piece on why he wears those shades indoors and at night. So please R&R! 


End file.
